Grace

Originally written August 18

I've been dealing with a lot of self hatred lately. I've been
through some painful things and I've aimed the blame for all the pain
at myself. God is beginning to wake me up to something though. I
think one of the reasons that I blame myself is because in the midst
of pain I'm looking for someone to blame. It seems safer to blame
myself. If I'm mad at myself then it doesn't hurt anyone else and
they aren't going to lash out at me. However, as long as blame is
floating around there can be no forgiveness, no Grace. If there is
no Grace, then there can be no healing. God has forgiven me, He has
washed me clean. There is no blame anymore, Jesus has taken it all
upon Himself and He paid the penalty for all blame.

Anger is a natural, God designed emotion. It isn't always wrong, but
many times we express it wrongly. As we read the Bible the times
where we see God and Jesus angry are times when people are relating
to Him wrongly. Right relationship with Him turns away anger. Anger
is expressed in order to motivate others to a right relationship.
When a friend betrays us, we are right to be angry. However, our
anger should not be expressed in order to cause the other person
pain. Rather, it should be expressed in order to restore right
relationship.

I suppose that much of my anger against myself lately has a pretty
solid justification, I acted wrongly against other people. However,
much of my anger was expressed in order to cause harm. Rather, I
should examine the cause of my anger and move to restore right
relationship, with both myself and those I wronged. However, as I
move to restore right relationship, I must also give the blame to the
One that took my punishment for my wrongs. Jesus took my sin to the
Cross, my sin is no more. The New Covenant in Jeremiah 31:33-34
tells us that God remembers our sin no more. If God doesn't remember
my sin anymore, what grounds do I have for remembering it?